One of my first mentors, Mary Morrissey, taught me that lousy questions get lousy answers. Put more eloquently she said, “The quality of your life is directly proportional to the caliber of questions you ask.”
For example, if you ask questions like: Why is this always happening to me? Why can't I seem to find a good man? Why am I always losing this job? Why am I always getting put in situations where I'm getting taken advantage of? Why am I constantly having to deal with this person or this type of person? These types of questions stem from a victim mentality, in other words, they are extremely disempowering.
The worst part is that you will always find what you are focused on. This is also known as confirmation bias. For example, “Why can I only find jerks to date?” Hint: Because you are focused on jerks. Life is like Google, you put a question in Google and it gives you the answer. So you have to flip the script: “How or where can I find a nice gentleman to date?” Asking how long can a person live if they get Cancer is a very different question than how can someone beat Cancer. Are you catching my drift? If you want better answers (results) in your life, you have to ask better questions! Our questions should be guided by our desired outcomes.
Here’s another example of how to use the power of questions to guide you to your desired outcome. Let’s say you are already in a relationship and you’d really like for your partner to be more present and intimate with you. From a lack perspective, you might be asking questions like, “Why is my partner always on his phone? Why don’t they want to spend time with me? Why does it seem like they are not interested in me?” However, a more empowering line of questioning would sound like… “How can I create deeper intimacy with my partner? How can I create opportunities for us to be more present together? How can I create a desire in my partner to want to reach out and communicate more?”
Those kinds of questions will give you a solution! Where you put your attention is where you put your intention. Where focus goes, energy flows. Luke 11:9-13 FBV I tell you: ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you shall find; knock, and the door shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and everyone who seeks, finds; and to everyone who knocks the door will be opened.”Put your questions in service of what you say you would love, let the clarity flood in, and take aligned action!
To your powerful life!
-Ashton